Hey, so how are you? I hope you’re doing fine. Well, I’m not sure how many letters I’ve written to you that I’m guessing you will never read but it’s okay. I guess, this is just a way for me to cope with all these bottled up feelings I’ve been keeping inside.

Today feels like any other day. I’ve been thinking about you and I couldn’t help but wonder if this is it. Is this all we’re ever going to be? Maybe you’re thinking that I’m not the one for you or that maybe you deserve someone better than me – someone who can provide you all the things I couldn’t. But I deserve someone better too I guess. Someone who will take care of me and love me. Someone who will be proud of the way I am. Someone who will, one day, can tell the world that I am his and he is mine.

I’ve been waiting for more than a year. Waiting and hoping that you will finally see me and my worth. And finally realize that you love me too. Love me more than just a friend but a partner in life. But will that ever happen? How long do I have to wait?

I’ve been with you through everything. I’ve been supporting you. I’ve listened to your problems and helped you resolve them. I was there by your side when you need me. I took care of you when you got sick. Fed you when you were hungry. None of this you asked from me, but I did them anyway because I wanted to take care of you. Maybe I shouldn’t ask for anything in return. Maybe I shouldn’t ask for you to love me back but that’s how I’m feeling. I’m just human after all.

But I’ve been waiting a long time now and I’m close to giving up. I’m losing hope that we’ll ever be more than what we are now. And I need to accept that. I need to force myself to think about that possibility. Maybe you’re keeping me out of convenience until you find someone else. If you are then please let me go. I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve to go through this pain.

Yes, this wasn’t the first time and I doubt it will be the last but I’m not sure I can handle the heartache. So please, just be honest with me and set me free.

I’m a fool. Yes. A fool in love. But that’s okay. I don’t have any regrets. At least I know that I can love someone this much and hopefully when the right person comes along I can show him the same love I have given you. The last thing I want is for anyone to feel the way you have made me feel. So when he finally comes along, I will do my best to make him feel loved and appreciated. I will never take him for granted. I will treasure every moment we spend together and make him feel like his my world.

We’re not officially together. So when I asked one of my friends for advice, he told me to let you go. He told me that I shouldn’t put myself through this because there are so many people out there. And hopefully, even just one can make me feel loved and valued.

But for now I am here. I will stay by your side and help you see this through. I will do everything I can to make you happy. But I’m close to the edge and I don’t know for how long I can hold my grip before I finally decide to let go. I will try my best to hold on to this but I can’t promise anything.

Maybe it’s for your own good too. Maybe I’m keeping your from finding your true love. But please, I’m begging you, that when that time comes, when you finally realize that I’m nothing but just a friend to you please tell me. I will let you go in peace. No hard feelings.

 

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