Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to let go of the one thing that you love most. It’s painful I know. And as the cliché goes, if you really love them, set them free. It’s going to hurt like fuck but in the long run you know that it’s for the best. Sacrifices must be made in order to find true happiness. And true happiness, in order to achieve it – you must pay a huge price.

Whenever I meet someone new I always do my best to give it my all. Whether I know it’s going to hurt me in the end, I still do it. It doesn’t matter what the outcome will be as long as you’re happy. At the end of the day, it’s only you who can make yourself happy no matter what the situation is or whomever you are with. That’s what you do, make the most of every moment you have together and pray that he feels the same way. You do things to make him happy. You make time for him and show him how much you care. You devote yourself to him in hopes that he will do the same to you. But the reality is, we’re not all built the same way. We all grew up from different backgrounds and we all experience love in many ways. You can’t really change a person but what you can do is accept that person for who he is – no matter what. Accept all his flaws and all his weaknesses. Be there for him and support him in all his decisions. It’s really not about being a martyr. It’s not about playing a doormat. It’s about understanding. It’s about being the bigger person even if at times he doesn’t see it. It’s not going to be easy. You’re going to struggle for a while. You’ll have your doubts. You’ll feel insecure. You’ll feel unworthy. But it’s perfectly fine to feel all these things. It’s fine to think that you’re not good enough for him. It’s fine to think that because of that he’ll fine someone better than you. Someone who can take care all of his needs. Someone who can give him what you can’t and offer him everything that you don’t have. You’re broke. The money you have you save for him. You make sacrifices for him that he doesn’t even know. Because you want him in your life and you’re afraid of letting go. You hold on. Hold on to that little voice in your head that thinks you’re special for him. That he sees something special in you. You pretend that everything’s okay. You pretend that you’re not jealous at all when he flirts around. You laugh at his jokes and smile all the time. Because the truth is, you’re not together. You’re not in a relationship. You’re just someone close by. The neighbor. The friend. That’s all you’re going to be. So stop. Stop fantasizing that this will be more than what it is. Stop dreaming and wake up to the reality. You’re there. You’re convenient that’s why he’s around. And when he moves out and moves on with his life, you’ll be just another guy. Another friend. Another memory. He’ll forget about you soon. So stop clinging into your delusion that things will be different. That you can change him. That you’re the only for him cause you’re not. You’re just one of the many guys he’s seeing. You’re not special. You’re not good looking, You can stop fighting for him now and just let him be. Let him go. He deserves so much better. He deserves someone who can make him happy more than you can. So stop clinging into him. It will only hurt you. You will only destroy yourself. And you’ll find yourself back in square one. Lost and confused. Nowhere to go. Down. So from this moment on, just breathe and let it all go. Just surrender everything to the hands of God and let His will be done. Smile. Accept it now before it’s too late. Accept the fact that this is it. Stop expecting anymore when you know you’ll only be disappointed at the end. Just be there for him when he needs you but never be too needy of him. He may not see your value now and he will soon take all your kindness for granted but it’s okay. It happens all the time. Stop wearing your heart on your sleeves. Stop thinking about him and just live your life. Prepare yourself for the worst. This way, the impact will only be minimal. You won’t get hurt that much and you’ll recover faster. Just know that you’re worth it and a lot of guys will be lucky to have you and love you but if he’s not one of them then it’s not really your lost. You know who you are deep inside. You know what you can give. You know there’s good in you. And if he fails to see that then it’s okay. You move on and find your happiness somewhere else and with someone else. Be happy. So stop acting like you two are in a freaking relationship because you’re not. Stop acting like you’re his boyfriend because you’re not. You’re just some guy he hangs out with all the time. So stop thinking that there will be more to what you have now. Clear your head and forget about him for a minute. Stop thinking about what he’s doing or who is he with when he’s not with you. He’s not committed to you and so are you. You can see other people. See your friends and family. See other guys if you want because unless he asks you to be exclusive to him then you still have that right. Stop imagining stuff! Stop over thinking every single thing he says or every move he makes. It could be nothing at all. So stop it. Stop making him a priority and start focusing on yourself because as soon as he leaves you behind there will be nothing left of you again. And you can’t have that happen, don’t allow it to happen. Don’t allow your heart to fall again for the wrong guy. For the guy you know who can’t love you the same as you do. Close your eyes and get some sleep. Stop worrying cause it will do you no good. Stop. Just stop. Stop waiting for his texts. Stop waiting for him to make the first move. Stop being desperate. Because if he wants you, he’ll be there for you and will look for you and if he doesn’t then what? Stop playing the fool.

Why can’t life be simple? What happened to us? Can’t we just go back to the beginning where things aren’t so complicated? When a piece of candy can make all the hurt go away? Why did we ever grow up? Why did we ever learn? Why couldn’t we be satisfied of what we have? Why do we have all these desires to need things? To be the best and aim high? Why is it so wrong to just live your life without ambition? Without a clue? Just be ignorant. Why do we have to acquire knowledge? Why do we have to know the answers for things that we can’t understand? Why do we ask questions? Why can’t we just be ourselves? Be happy without thinking of what other people have to say?

2 responses »

  1. JP says:

    It hurts when you see the one you loved wouldn’t love you back the same way you wanted. I guess, what keep you ‘stucked’ was that he kept on sending mixed signals to you. I feel you and I’m sorry if you are feeling shitty.

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