I’m not myself again today. I feel like disappearing again. I’m not sure why but I just want to lock myself in my room and sleep all day. I’m close to quitting my current job again – bad habit I know but I’m holding on. I’m forcing myself to think positively and just hope that tomorrow will be a better day. But that’s what I said yesterday and the day before that and I’m not sure how long I can keep convincing myself that everything will be fine.
My problem? I don’t know. I can’t figure it out myself. All I know is that I can’t be alone with my thoughts right now. My head starts filling up with things that are bringing me down. I’m doing my best to distract myself. Watch series, read books and listen to music. I work (at least try to) but the daily routine is becoming futile. I feel miserable. And I’m probably the loneliest person on the planet right now for no particular reason.
It’s all in my head. Whatever it is. The thought that keeps resurfacing over and over again. I can’t stop it and I can’t control it. All I can do is accept it and welcome it in my life.
I don’t want to do anything anymore. I just want to close my eyes and sleep. I don’t want to go out and talk to people. I just want to be alone.