My friends don’t understand, I guess they’ll never do but my love for 1D is like a blossoming relationship between two characters from a young adult fiction novel living in opposite worlds… well, aren’t all they? Don’t worry, there are no cold-blooded vampires in this story (which may or may not disappoint many of you) or hot headed werewolves for that matter. I’m sure thousands of prepubescent girls and boys, 20-something virgins, closeted gay men and bored housewives have written fan fiction novels that turned Niall Horan, Zayn Malik, Liam Payne, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson into vampires but my story is different… well, not really. Same difference I guess.
Like every young adult fiction novel, my story begins with a typical introduction…
Here I am, the ordinary human being from a small town located in the middle of nowhere. Where everybody knows everybody and everybody’s secrets is for everybody to know.
I’m living with my mom, her new husband and hot but evil twin stepbrothers who, by the way, make my life miserable. It was lust at first sight I guess because they got married a month later. I can’t blame him, my mom’s a MILF.
Anyway, like some of my favorite characters I also write. [Veronica Sawyer, Heathers (1988), Sarah Jessica Parker, Sex and The City, (1998-2004) Jenna Hamilton, Awkward (2011-present), Dr. John Watson (2010-present) etc etc].
I have a blog that no one knows exist because yes, even in the World Wide Web I’m still anonymous. Not that it matters of course because I actually prefer it that way. In my blog I can share my feelings, my oh so many feelings to the world without fear of becoming a meme when I say something wrong. I’d die if I’m suddenly on 9GAG with my face and a quote beneath that says something really funny but also quite humiliating. I can express myself more freely because no one really knows who I am. You see, I have so many emotions I want to share… emotions that I feel (know) only a Twihard fan can relate to.
My audience is probably composed of teens (in this case, closet gay teens who are afraid to come out yet because their afraid to be bullied so they just spend time watching gay porn in their bedroom jerking off or reading gay erotic fan fiction based on their favorite books – Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, Jacob and Edward, The guys from Hunger Games, even Frodo and Sam) or they could be bored gay men just killing time while waiting for a response from some headless shirtless guy they just messaged on Grindr.
Anyway, I’m trying to pull off a Stephenie Meyer here, minus the vampires and the werewolves… and everything else in that book actually or by a long shot I could be the next E.L. James I just need to add some rope, leather, and whips to the story which I may or may not do (you’ll have to read first).
And so here I am, on my bed writing a blog about my mundane life like every other 20-something from Thought Catalog… that is until something inexplicably happens that will change everything. Something will turn me and my life to the next biggest franchise in Hollywood (cross fingers haha).
Don’t worry, this is just a short story and not a trilogy. If this becomes a movie, it’ll be independently produced – no need to split it in two. I promise.
*This is my first attempt at writing a “fan fiction” (a meta “fan fiction I guess) so just bear with me. 🙂