Sometimes I wonder how my life would’ve turned out if I wasn’t “confused”. Would I’ve been a jock and fuck all the pretty girls in my class or a rock star who’d fuck all the pretty girls in my class plus the not so pretty ones because I was already high and drunk. I guess we’d never know.

I grew up with the “it” crowd, always surrounded by the prettiest and smartest girls but I never thought of pursuing any of them because at the back of my mind, they were already mine. So where’s the challenge in that? They would’ve slept with me if I had asked them to (or seduced them, any which way) but I didn’t. They weren’t what I was looking for.

Sometimes I wonder how my life would’ve turned out if I just came out right from the beginning. Would I have become “the guy” who’d fuck all the straight boys just for kicks, luring them “for fun” and vowing never to speak of it ever. SIGH.

If I had just come out, then I wouldn’t be in a fucking ordeal as to whether I should or shouldn’t let people know. I hate it when people talk behind my back and question whether I am or am not.

6 responses »

  1. GeumChadi says:

    I’ve been in the same situation before and now, I really don’t care anymore (well, I still do sometimes, especially if it really pissed me off. Hehe.) of what people will say and might say behind my back. I always tell myself, “They won’t help me feed myself and my family anyway. Mainggit na lang sila sa achievements ko.”

    And just like what Kelly Clarkson sings, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. 🙂

    • Jake Samson says:

      It’s easy not to care but it’s hard not to ignore right? Pisses me off. Big time! Heh.

      • GeumChadi says:

        Yep! There was this incident where I got pissed off so what I did was I confronted the guy and hinamon ko sya ng suntukan. Let’s see who’s gay between. T*ngna! Ako pa! LOL!

  2. Janus says:

    “Intelligent people talk about ideas, mediocre people talk about events, dumb people talk about people.” I just let them talk behind my back. They make me feel like a celebrity. Hahahahaha!

  3. Packo says:

    Well matters most is that were not bothered by what other people think. It doesn’t really matter. I don’t think it would make a difference but what is important is that you are content with what is happening now. People do crazy things sometimes they too are hiding something so they bully others to make them feel good about themselves.

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