Sometimes I wonder how my life would’ve turned out if I wasn’t “confused”. Would I’ve been a jock and fuck all the pretty girls in my class or a rock star who’d fuck all the pretty girls in my class plus the not so pretty ones because I was already high and drunk. I guess we’d never know.
I grew up with the “it” crowd, always surrounded by the prettiest and smartest girls but I never thought of pursuing any of them because at the back of my mind, they were already mine. So where’s the challenge in that? They would’ve slept with me if I had asked them to (or seduced them, any which way) but I didn’t. They weren’t what I was looking for.
Sometimes I wonder how my life would’ve turned out if I just came out right from the beginning. Would I have become “the guy” who’d fuck all the straight boys just for kicks, luring them “for fun” and vowing never to speak of it ever. SIGH.
If I had just come out, then I wouldn’t be in a fucking ordeal as to whether I should or shouldn’t let people know. I hate it when people talk behind my back and question whether I am or am not.