HE DELETED THE MESSAGE immediately as if it contained some kind of virus. Jay started collecting his thoughts and tried desperately to make sense of what he had just done. He proposed to a girl he barely knew and loved and he was still in a relationship with another man. One way or another he had to fix his twisted fate. One way or another, someone will get hurt.
He arrived at the airport before noon. Exhausted from the flight, he tried calming himself down and went to a nearby café’. He ordered cappuccino. He watched people arrive and leave, crying, laughing and waving goodbyes, but all he could think of was his own problem. A torment he couldn’t handle.
He sat up and walked over to the entrance where cabs are waiting. To his surprise Emily was there running towards him, all smiles. She hugged him tight and whispered I love you to his hear. She missed him badly.
They both hailed a cab and once inside he was back in that dark closet. She held his hand firmly while his only thought was of him and his smile.
He met Toni at the gym on the summer of 2007. He was taking up his doctorate degree while he was an undergraduate student at the same university. Both of them didn’t know it at first. It was only after their second date that they found out.
Toni is a 19 year old guy. Tall, handsome but very much reserved. His only reply when talked to was a nod or a smile. And his smile was the first thing that attracted him. His full red lips, his pearly white teeth and the way his brown eyes sparkled made his heart skipped a beat. As cheesy or corny as it may sound, for Jay it was true because he experienced it first-hand.
Yes, it was love at first sight. And to him it was a dream came true.
Toni’s youth perhaps or mere innocence drew Jay to this young man. The way he smiled when he’s shy or bows his head whenever he feels like drawing attention made him fall even more. He was charming in short.
He sees himself in Toni and because of that he felt the need to protect him and take care of him but more importantly to love him. He did all that and more.
Though his outgoing personality contrasts his meekness they immediately hit it off. Toni would come to his house and they would watch movies on his flat screen TV inside his room. If Jay had classes Toni would visit him in school. They would eat out or watch movies to or just work out at the gym together. He hadn’t been this happy in a long time.
When he finally introduced him to his mother she accepted him with open arms but if she disapproved it never showed. Her smile hid a disguise. And it was of disappointment. After all, no mother would like or even expect their only son to end up with a man and in this case, to a boy.
He thought the taxi ride would never come to an end. It finally did. He was relieved.
Once inside their flat he asked to be left alone for a while. Emily thought maybe it was jetlag or stress. It was none of the both.
He went inside his room and locked the door behind him. On his right was a huge closet. He opened it and took out a shoe box. The inside contained memorabilia’s, pictures and souvenirs. He dug deeper and found a lock of hair. It was Toni’s, the ones he gave right before he left. He smelled the hair and dozed off.
Part 6 of In The Closet