He wakes up every morning hoping that things will get better or at least change for the best.

Black and white photo of coffee and cigarette

He’s tired of waking up on the same bed every day to the sound of the alarm he so despise. But he opens his eyes anyway just so he could turn it off. He tries to lift himself out of bed but he’s just too worn out, too weak, or just too lazy to do so. So he remained there lying with his right hand over his crotch trying to control his boner. You can’t blame him of course, “It’s the morning” after all.

His eyes were fixed on the ceiling and as he trace every nook and cranny, he realized just how much his life resembles what he’s looking at. The cracks represent his frustrations and he fears that sooner or later when the cracks increase, the ceiling would fall apart.

Living alone isn’t easy. He has no one to depend on but himself but he’s fine by it really. After all, it’s the price you pay if you want to be independent these days.

He gets out of the bed and walks over to the bathroom. He takes off his boxers and steps on the shower. He still has a hard on and thought of jerking off but decided against it. He let the cold water run down his back while he stared at the floor.

Last night he dreamt about John Lloyd Cruz, which is a little bizarre, that of all the local celebrities he know (not personally though), he’d dream about Popoy. He’s not a big fan or anything, he rarely even watches local shows (except when Eugene Domingo is in it) and their repetitive plots, so you can just imagine how weird it was for him to wake up from that dream. WTF right?

In his dream, John Lloyd was crying. They just had an argument and he was trying to calm him down. He’s telling him that everything will be just fine but he just wouldn’t listen. And then he wakes up.

According to Confucius, “Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.” But can any of us really afford to be choosy when there are over 3 million people currently unemployed, struggling to make ends meet.

Ryan Bingham and Bob

Ryan Bingham: Your resume says you minored in French Culinary Arts. Most students work the frier at KFC. You busted tables at Il Picatorre to support yourself. Then you got out of college and started working here. How much did they pay you to give up on your dreams?

Bob: Twenty seven thousand a year.

Ryan Bingham: At what point were you going to stop and go back to what made you happy?

Up In The Air (2009)

He is grateful that he has a job that pays well but is he willing to sacrifice half of what he’s earning right now to pursue something he really loves? To go back to what made him happy?

He wipes the fog off the mirror with his hands and stares at his red-rimmed eyes. He hasn’t been sleeping well for the last couple of days. He’s still adjusting though.The transition from night shift to morning shift is taking a toll on his body.

He puts on his clothes and walks out the building.

All our lives we agonize over questions like “Who am I?” and “What am I?” We search for answers only to end up with more questions like “What is my purpose?” and more importantly, “Why did God create me this way only to be detested by his followers” It’s an endless cycle of questions and answers.

He’s tired of walking on the same streets and watching the same people go about their own lives while he feels like he’s wasting his own. He’s tired of doing the same job from 9 to 5 and even more tired of arguing with himself on whether he should quit or not.

So what’s he afraid of?

There must be more to life than this but somehow he couldn’t help but think otherwise. This might be it. This might be all he’s ever gonna be.

He wakes up every morning hoping that things will get better or at least change for the best. Yet somehow he doubts it.

If he wants some things to change then he must be willing to make some sacrifices.

He’s going to quit.

Related Posts

Perfectly Ordinary
The Boring Life of A Boy Living Behind The Closet

3 responses »

  1. Atkins says:

    I am so feeling the same way bro. =(

  2. Klaus says:

    People should just do what makes them happy. What’s the point of living if you’re not happy right? 😉

  3. Janus says:

    I’ll share this quote. It keeps me going. Just keep breathing. —- “If there’s just one piece of advice i can give you, it’s this – when there’s something you really want, fight for it, don’t give up no matter how hopeless it seems. And when you’ve lost hope, ask yourself if 10 years from now, you’re gonna wish you gave it just one more shot, because the best things in life, they don’t come free.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s