I was a junior in college when I started drinking more and more. My thirst for alcohol intensified and I was finding it hard to control. I couldn’t fuckin’ stop. It was also around the same time that I picked up smoking as a habit. I guess it was really just out of stress more than anything else. The pressure to maintain not just good but excellent grades combined with the many personal problems that I had to deal with on a daily basis was too much for me to handle all at once. When I could no longer beer, I mean bear, my own cross I turned to a higher power – the spirits.
It was also in my junior year that I entered my first relationship after being single for the past 3 years. I decided it was about time to get over the past and move on. I was longing for someone to touch and hold, for some form of affection that only someone you love can give. I wanted someone to call at night when I’m feeling all fucked up inside. Someone to hold me close and say, “Everything’s gonna be just fine.”
My last relationship was with a girl in my class back in high school. She broke up with me after being pressured by her mom who apparently thought that I was no good for her daughter. It took sometime for my heart to recover from the pain and beat normally without her.
After many failed attempts to hook me up with someone new, my friends decided it would be best to just leave me alone and let me live my own life.
When I jumped back into the dating game I met Ryan, a senior. He’s an inch shorter than me but we’re built almost the same way. He’s pretty good looking, at least that’s what my friends say, and he has an amazing singing voice.
We went out for a few dates and it was on our third one that he proposed the idea of “us” as a couple. He told me that he wanted to take what we have to another level. More serious, more intimate. I’ve been in same sex relationships before so it wasn’t exactly a big deal for me. I liked him. He liked me. We’re both single so it’s only natural for us to take this route.
I finally decided to give love another shot.
Part 1 of A Higher Power – ★☆