Before I let you in to my world behind the closet let me tell you something about me.

Symbol for Male and Female Genders or Gender Symbol

You're either a boy ♂ or a girl ♀

I was a normal kid living a pretty much normal life. I spent my childhood playing games outdoors with my friends. We ran around the block and got ourselves into a lot of trouble. The bruises on our hands and knees eventually turned into scars. A small reminder of what it was like to grow up in the 90s, on the streets and under the heat of the sun. Back then, online computer games weren’t as prevalent as it is today. Now everything is different but that’s another story.

Growing up you learn that there are only to sexes. You’re either a boy or a girl. As a boy you should like blue and as a girl you should like pink. A boy has to cut his hair short and a girl has to keep hers long. A boy should wear pants and a girl should wear skirts. There are only two sexes, they kept reminding you. You either have a dick or  beaver.

I never really thought that there was anything wrong with me until I heard the words bakla and bading. Though I couldn’t quite comprehend what those words meant I knew then that they were not good. This was based on what I felt back then after people would ask me “Bakla ka ba?” whenever I did something out of the ordinary. I never thought that playing with Barbie dolls wasn’t normal for boys or that paper dolls were reserved for girls. So what’s Ken for? I thought everyone can play the same things. I was never informed of the rules. 1.) That boys should play with toy guns and cars 2.) or play sports with their fathers.

I was a normal kid until I became confused. I started to think that there was something wrong with me. ☆

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